Welcome to my blog.....

I guess I can say that I have spent a lot of time telling many friends and family members about my life's happenings via the internet. This is due to the fact that I have many friends and family who live all over Australia and indeed all over the world and the time differences makes email easier than phonecalls.

Feedback from a variety of these have included words of encouragement like "maybe you should write a book" not because my life is full of dramas, well not too many anyway, more so that my style of writing is an enjoyable read, so they tell me anyway. A book would be nice at some time however short stories appeal to me more at the moment and hence the creation of Blogtastical Banter.

I hope you enjoy my views on my life's situations and also situations which interest me, so sit back, relax and enjoy my ride.

Follow me on Twitter @couturechicness
My wares can be purchased at www.etsy.com/shop/CreativelyCouture


Tuesday, December 27, 2011

To "e" buy or not to "e" buy? That is the question.


I was recently chatting to hubby about the GFC and how the economic world is clearly changing, how so many businesses and consumers have to look to the world of 'e' buying and just what this means to the retail world and indeed the changing economic world.

I mentioned during our conversation that, just prior to Christmas, I was listening to one of my fav radio stations and one of the two female presenters was telling the listeners how she had purchased all of her Christmas presents via the Internet this year. Her co-presenter then informed us that she had never purchased anything over the Internet. Naturally the Internet savvy presenter was stunned (as I was) that this was the case. Being a very keen eBay shopper myself and purchasing most of my adornments for my handbags/ handbag business via the Internet, you can appreciate my surprise and hubbys as I told him this fact.

Later that week, I met up with some girlfriends for a "girly" lunch. One advised us that she too, had purchased all of her Christmas gifts via the net. Again, another girlfriend advised us of her having never made any net purchases. I was once again very interested and surprised.

This clearly growing trend of Internet purchasing bought me back to the conversation hubby and I was having. We both agreed that the number of shops closing down has been caused by a number of factors, one being the number of people purchasing goods online instead of physically walking into shops and making purchases. He advised me of one particular Australian businessman who actually wants the government to bring in a tax for online shopping, clearly due to his business suffering. Hubby also explained that some retail shops want to charge shoppers who come in, try on items of clothing and then leave without making a purchase. Apparently the trend is for the savvy internet shopper to go into a shop and try on items, work out the correct size and then go home and purchase that item online, thus saving you quite a substantial amount.

I can certainly see the retailer's points of view. After all they have staff to pay, rent to pay and clearly along with the GFC and the increase in Internet shopping, the retail shops are certainly suffering.

As we all know, we can now read the local papers, even any overseas newspapers/magazines online are available to us through the press of a button without having to leave the house let alone the country to purchase them and I for one love this technology and reading The New York Times too! I have a friend who purchased their house online without stepping one foot into it before signing on the dotted line. Crazy? In my opinion yes, but who am I to say what is right? Australia Post has even set up a 24 hour post office in our city to help cater for the ever increasing Internet shoppers and their purchases/returns. The facilities will soon be spreading too many other post offices to accommodate all of us.

After much deliberation, I decided to set up my business website for this exact reason. I want everyone out there to be able to purchase my goods no matter where you live.  Though I absolutely love attending our market each week to sell my wares (www.louisedempsterbags.com) I, too, came to the realisation that if you are not Internet savvy with your business, eventually you are going to be left behind.

There are a plethora of reasons for not shopping online. One reason for me being that I have declined to grocery shop online due to my preference for being a touchy-freely grocery shopper. I do not want someone else choosing my tomatoes, apples, shallots. I like choosing my fruit and veg by touching, feeling and smelling. How can I possibly use an avocado tonight for that guacamole if it is as hard as a rock when it arrives today via my online shopping? What about that lovely pineapple that grandmother taught us to smell before we bought, to test how ripe it was? You see it isn't going to work for me in this way because I need that ripe avocado for tonight and Mr online fruit and veg packing person doesn't know that.

As I sit and write these words, I must lament about how one day, I will have to succumb and abandon my touchy-feely grocery shopping and join the band wagon of online grocery shoppers. If the rest of you dictate that this is the way the world is going, then so must I. I can't see my local greengrocer leaving my local shop opened for little old me!

Until then, my friends, I hope that the world will allow me to continue to 'talk' to the fruit and veg in my shop of choice. I enjoy voicing my opinion of them and their suitability for consumption whilst standing alone chatting to 'them' whilst other shoppers wonder if I have recently escaped from a psychiatric facility due to my conversing with the item in my hand. Oh and I will continue to walk into shops and purchase that item of clothing or pair of shoes so that I get the right fit the first time and help keep the staff remain employed.

So, until you all force me to do such online shopping my friends, I remain the touchy-feely shopper today. Tomorrow? We will all have to wait and see.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Christmas gift giving and please take it back?

Here we are and it's the day after the day we celebrate when the Saviour was born. The day we celebrate Jesus Christ's birth day and we do have reason to thank Him for so many things.

On the lighter side of Christmas, it would be far too serious of me not to mention the topic that most media seem to trigger off on Boxing Day in a light hearted way and that is the day after the gift giving and oh not again! The day when we have time to reflect on those gifts we received yesterday. The day when can finally admit out loud, without having the gift-givers in the same room and within audible distance when  may have offended them. We can now voice our opinions on those Christmas presents received that we just won't be using and our plethora of audible reasons we have: it's too small; too big; not my colour; not my style; I have absolutely no use for Jamie Oliver's latest cookbook because I don't cook, never have and if I have anything to do with it, I never will during the remainder of my lifetime (of course that certainly would not be the response from me if i had received the gorgeous Mr Oliver's cookbook because those who have read various blogs know that not only do I adore him but that I adore cooking too.)

I know, I am hearing you loud and clear. So what do we do with them? Shove them in the top of that cupboard and hopefully forget they are there? Regift (I can honestly say I have never regifted though I do know that many humans walking this earth have carried out this interesting act.) Do I sell it on eBay and pray that that gift-giver is not an ebayer and discovers their gift for sale whilst they are perusing the website whilst searching for a bargain? Do we put that gift aside and donate it to the local charity shop? You must hope that that giver of the gift does not happen upon your item whilst they are, let's say in that particular charity shop, purchasing let's say some preloved denim jeans they need for their new-to-the-retail-world fabulous up cycled denim hand bag business??? Anyone you know? www.louisedempsterbags.com

This, readers, is your dilemma and decision. Personally I would choose the latter. I don'tknow, I guess it is my Catholic upbringing but I would rather a piece of clothing I wouldn't wear "in a month of Sundays" (as the chances of me fitting into that shirt in my post menopausal years-to-come is less than zero) and so I would let it go to a charity shop and to someone who would appreciate it. I would rather this than allow it to sit in a cupboard for months only to be left prey to the moths, silverfish etc then to be thrown in the bin later due to the plethora of holes in it. But hey that's just me.

On the brighter side of Christmas gift giving, this is one dilemma that I am not faced with this year. I received everything that was practical and might I add there was not one piece of clothing intended for me.....a nice change I must say. No, all my prezzies were suggested by me to my darling family and clearly they have great hearing.

So, allow me to wish you all a fun Boxing Day and I will leave you to lament on what is now your problem on just what to do with those challenging gifts you now own and don't require and no, I am not interested in your outcomes. I am sure you will handle it all admirably!






Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Hi, I'm Australia's correspondent for the New York Times....Nice to meet you!

Have you ever turned your current thought whilst you create that next email to send to your fellow work colleagues advising them of the next management meeting and turning that thought into something quite mesmerizing, pondering and imagining yourself in another job. You know, that dream job where you are earning twice your current salary and loving every second of that new job? Well I certainly hope you have. I for one do this regularly. Earning twice my current salary would put me barely as the average wage earner which would be nice (being self-employed having just ventured into my new business of designer handbags www.louisedempsterbags.com  is a tough gig I’m telling you, but I am loving it regardless and would love to write professionally as well.)

Moving on....so whilst I ponder this dream every now and then, whilst bent over my sewing machine, creating another handbag and thinking of the monies spent at Christmas and how I would love to buy my hubby that new car without having to take out a loan etc etc led me down this path of what if? You see loving putting my fingers to keys and create something to read regularly, takes me into this world of  standing next to a make-believe person, obviously my employer or maybe just a work colleague at a networking event and being introduced as “and I would like you to meet Australia’s correspondent for the New York Times” when I would smile, shake ‘their’ hand and say “lovely to meet you” and hoping my new acquaintances response would be “oh really, how incredibly exciting.”

Okay and now I am hearing many of you giggle under your breath and shake that head of yours whilst thinking she is such a dreamer. Yep, you are correct but I for one know that anything can happen in life...just ask Barak Obama if he ever dreamed of being president of the USA? If you don’t dream, how can you look forward to anything? My other current dreams are making a princely sum from my handbags, holidaying in Ireland and Italy, losing a number of kilograms in weight and publishing my own book! All achievable too.

Now one would naturally assume that wanting to work for NYT one would be an avid reader of NYT and that my friends has not been the case until the last few days. Due to the ever-improving world of incredible internet technology I can access this newspaper via the net and have read various articles in this large newspaper. I am really enjoying perusing the plethora of articles and choosing those of interest to read whilst sipping a cup of tea, poised over my PC. It is interesting whilst reading that it is indeed a small world regarding their similarity of articles compared to our Australian newspapers and that, although they already have a plethora of contributors, what is one more? Who can resist an Aussie?

What are my qualifications I can “hear” the editor asking me during my Skype interview? The fact that I lack a degree in journalism, in my opinion, is irrelevant. How many current authors have qualifications in literacy? Not many I am pretty sure. "How long have I been writing for?" Since grade 1 I presume. My 50 year old memory takes me back to Sister Marcelina in the classroom showing me how to hold my pencil so, yes, that must have been the beginning of my writing prowess. "My life’s experiences?" Heaps already and no doubt heaps more to come. "My interests?" Family; current affairs’ the stock exchange;  humour; the world of medicine (being a nurse); fashion; conversing with people in general; counselling; music; cooking; gardening (hence my Lady Lou Lettuce blog) designing and creating my handbags and putting fingers to keys and expressing my points of view.

So would this be enough to impress the editor? Well, frankly, why not? After all what does he/she want? This is me they are talking to. I am not the average overindulging-alcohol-consuming, cigarette-smoking desperate journalist. Well this was certainly the case some thirty years ago when I met numerous 'journos' via a family friend. I casually warned her about being careful not to go down the same dodgy road as her journo ‘friends’ whom seemed to be perpetually intoxicated whenever we met and who seemed  to be willing to sell their soul just to have an article published. I discovered this whilst chatting to them. I was advised of some of them turning up to work and submitting their work on time, and many not. At the age of 50, alcohol and me get together far less than in my younger years and my employment record re punctuality over the vast years has been A1 so who wouldn't want to employ me? Oh dear, am I dreaming again? Nah, I don't think so........

Well, let’s just wait and see if I get any offers. Maybe someone reading this fabulous blog of mine is in The States (and yes I do have readers in the USA) who might just be related/knows the editor of the NYT, mentions my blog, the editor reads it and hey presto.......yep I am dreaming again and I can dream because it is healthy and stimulating and goodness knows I love doing it.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Merry Christmas and thank you

As it is the season to be jolly (and goodness knows after this challenging year I certainly need some jollying-up) I want to wish each and every one of you a Merry Christmas and a fabulous 2012.

You, my followers, have been quite incredible and as I reach my 800th visitor in the next few days, I want to thank you all for reading this blog which was only created in July this year. I have readers from all over the world and I am quite humbled knowing this fact.

Thank you for taking the time to read my points-of-view on various life issues. I hope I have put some smiles on some faces with my words and I look forward to writing more in the future and putting more smiles on faces.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Blokey blokes v girly girls

I have just returned home early from my selling my wares at the local Saturday markets, I now await the 'breakdown' guy to arrive to tell me what is wrong with my little car and hopefully repair it. I was told it would be a 90 minute window either side of 2pm (the time I requested him to come) so I have been given an early pass by hubby and daughter to make sure I am here when he turns up.

Trying to organise this visit took nearly a ‘cast of thousands’ though slightly exaggerated, that should be myself, hubby and at least five phone calls to organise it. Now, hubby has quite a decent Scottish brogue left over from his first sixteen years growing up in Scotland. When he converses on the phone, more than often, the person at the other end of the phone finds it difficult to understand him so after him advising me that they couldn’t find my car’s details on the breakdown companie's computer, regardless of the registration being at hand for them and that I needed to phone them with the VIN, which did not satisfy me at all so I took matters into my own hands. Yes, we were on their computer file and yes they would organise the breakdown man to visit us at home and to be there at a certain time etc etc once I chatted to them. Naturally, hubby was a little frustrated to think I had managed to organise it without the VIN and so be it my little Scottish thistle! Regardless, I did feel a little sorry for hubby as I realise that females organising male ‘car business’ would not have sat well with him and his maleness.

This had me wondering about female v male ‘jobs’ or ‘roles’ in general. I know the word ‘equality’ is a word that we are constantly reminded of and one which will hopefully break that ‘glass ceiling’ we girls talk about so often as the hinderer to our ‘climbing that corporate ladder’ and bringing home that equal pay. We do have a while to go and hearing recently via a third party that a young relative of mine, graduated and now in the world of laws, is quite horrified how male-dominated this profession is, regardless of the amazing increase in female lawyers. I can only hope that she and my darling daughter, who is about to commence B Laws, will be able to aid in the change this current male-dominated situation.

I however, and ladies don’t judge me too quickly here, feel quite sorry for the blokes of today. With the increased number of females qualifying and taking on what were predominantly male jobs eg medicine, engineering, accounting,  mechanics, plumbers, not to mention the fabulous Gayle Kelly now CEO of Westpac , and are now first Australian female Prime Minister, I often wonder if there is a possibility of one day having absolutely no need for males in the world and how sad that would be for all concerned. We all know the one thing men can’t do and women can is fall pregnant and carry that babe for nine months then deliver. To replace their contribution to this miracle of life is store some frozen sperm and we are it....all powerful.....finally a world dominated by females.....I am kidding myself, we already dominate the world and yes we can run the world single-handedly, possibly. It’s true though sad too.

I was brought up in a very strict and traditional Roman Catholic household where dad was the breadwinner and ex-army. Our family consists of four children, three females followed by a male. The three girls are tertiary educated and so was little bro until he gave uni away for a job in tourism. The three of us girls are very pro-female equality and dad over the years has sometimes found the three of us a little overbearing at times and I have no problem with that. ‘All’s fair in love and war’ as the saying goes.
Along with this feminist attitude during my upbringing, I ended up being a single mum of two for some eight years after a marital breakdown. I can honestly say that as shocking as this time was, it was also the time where I truly grew as a female and came to be a woman of substance. Matters when my ex would normally have dealt with, now needed my supervision and responsibility. It was I who went to visit the bank manager (female) and to give her the ‘heads up’ as hubby had left the country and it was now me she would need to liaise with. She was wonderful and we became really good friends until her transfer to a branch quite a way away. I grew an amazing backbone during these years, needing to advise hospitals (eldest was a transplant recipient), schools, kindergartens, utility companies etc etc that it was now me in charge of bills etc and as initially devastating and embarrassing it was to admit to a marital breakdown, it became the making of me as a mother and as a woman. It was now me who had to deal with everyone and everything that involved any of the three of us. I remember during my nursing training back in the early 80’s a doctor referred to me as a suffragette (I was only 19 at the time) and I was unsure how to take this. I now own that word with pride after going through the last decades.

Which brings me back to female v blokes scenario. I don’t find it daunting ringing up the breakdown service or the car service department or anyone or thing that has to do with what was once traditionally male role-taking and I think this is becoming more and more prevalent with females in today’s world. Wives/partners of our servicemen and women come to mind when I think of this fact. The waves of farewell to the brave people who travel overseas to defend our country are owned by the partners left behind to look after the families. These are the people, predominantly women, who are now left with the responsibility to raise these children in every way possible. These are the women who will have to produce a balanced life for these children she is now solely responsible for. She will be the one they rely on each and every day for every single need they have and not knowing if she will have that partner to welcome home at the end of their deployment. It is now totally up to her and oh how my admiration for these women sky rockets each time I see them on the TV. This is how I felt for those eight years as a single mum. As those of us who have been in that position knows, you don’t think about it, you just do it.
So are we becoming a ‘near’ male less society? Not according to the birth rates but in a strange way, yes. Do some men already feel they have been made redundant due to the changing roles of women? Many I am sure would say yes. I however never want that to happen. I don’t like having to take on male roles and I try to avoid them at all costs. Yes, I can even admit I sit and play ‘dumb’ sometimes when I see hubby struggling with changing that light bulb or when looking for that screw driver (the tool, not the drink) which I managed to use just last week to tighten the door hinge, constructing that new table I purchased from IKEA and fixing the sinkerator. Who fixed that hinge and that sinkerator? I think it is necessary to play the ‘maiden in distress’ occasionally. I think it is good for their manhood for them to puff out that chest whilst looking for a ‘pat on the back’ having finally completed that task set some six months ago by you and what is now finally, finally finished.

The last think I want to have to do is carry those trestles into the market for my market stall from the car park, only to slip another disc in my back whilst doing it. Nope, leave that to him. He is good at it, he has much more strength than me when it comes to carrying things and I will just sit back, smile and nod and say ‘thanks so much darling’ and just be glad that I am woman and I know I can do anything but sometimes I just don’t want to and there’s nothing wrong with that.






Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Mum and dad, what the?

I am not at all interested in people’s views on this blog topic because I think I have come to the end of my tether when it comes to having enough of hearing and seeing how respect and standards have diminished over the last decade or so when it comes to Gen X, Y and Is (my youngest informs me that they are generation I ie Ipods, Ipads, Internet etc) and their standard of acceptable language v my standard.

Maybe being the daughter of an army officer might have something to do with my views but I have finally accepted that the world has certainly dropped its standards in too many ways and the respect we showed our elders whilst growing up have sadly, to a very decent degree, parted company with the next generations. My peers do not use bad language so someone has let the standards down and hence it has come from somewhere right?
I can start with my children’s peers. Thank goodness the majority of them are respectful and have fabulous manners. There are a minority however where calling me by my first name without asking my permission is just ‘the norm’ and I have a problem with that. Dropping explicit language at my feet whilst engaged in conversation with myself or my offspring does not seem to phase some at all. Yes, I can assure you I do not hesitate in standing my ground, expressing my displeasure in their offensive language and asking for them to watch their ‘P’s and Q’s’ whilst in my company. This is usually followed by a forthcoming apology from them and a very red face and our next encounter is always void of such behaviour, thank goodness. I think that is a lesson in respect is it not? So why do I have to do it and not their parents? I have brought up my children with a clear understanding about language which will not be tolerated neither in our home nor in my presence EVER! As a very learned gentleman said on TV recently, if you wouldn’t say it to your grandparents, don’t say it ever!

Now I will jump onto my high horse here and blatantly state that I blame mum and dad/guardians for this decline in good behaviour. As a child I was constantly reminded about respectful behaviour and my goodness I stand by it. Many will now think how, due to the increase in divorce, parenting has become harder and parents aren’t around enough to govern behaviour which is true to a point but I say RUBBISH to letting this be blamed for increased bad language in society. I was a single mum for eight years and if I can have well behaved children then there is no excuse. Just the simple words, ‘oh your girls are so lovely and polite’ makes all my hard work worthwhile and yes it is hard work to teach your children, but worth every minute of it. There are NO excuses. The simple words ‘shut up’ are spoken by children to parents and vice versa and I have been witness to this many times recently and have become the ‘norm.’ I dislike it intensely and unless using it in a frivolous manner, do not use it in my presence thank you. Once we allow the ‘odd’ bad word into our family life, the rest of those words will follow.  

Walking through shopping centres nearly brings me to despair when overhearing these younger people drop the F word or the S word etc etc as if they use it as often as we use the word AND. It is horrifying but understandably horrifying when, if they are walking with their elders, these elders are using the same words.....I ask you? As they say you learn what you live and ain’t that the truth.
Reading some tasteless comments on Facebook from some of the younger generations makes my blood boil and I can assure you that if it appears on my youngest's FB page from a friend of hers, I will put a comment on that comment. Yep, parenting is hard work and until mine are of legal age, I will continue to parent and voice my opinion and yes you lose the odd friend because of it but they come back with more respect and having learnt a lesson.
May be it should be a New Year’s resolution for families to have a swear tin in their homes for 2012 where monies are put into it by anyone who uses bad language or is it too late? Nope, it is never too late to improve ourselves.

Beware, anyone whose children/family members/friends are in my presence and utilise bad language when conversing with me, you will remember me forever. I will not tolerate it, never have and never will so watch out!

PS, It is now some two months on since I wrote the above and I recently noted my eldest had dropped the F word on her Facebook page. Appalled at this, I took a photo of it and then proceeded to block her and then informed her of this episode, ofcourse she was very red-faced (I told you I have standards.)  Why the photo? Because she is 18 and denies all wrong-doings in her life that she is responsible for .......Sherlock Holmes has nothing on me! This little darling lives out of home, her choice not mine, and reads my Facebook page to keep up to date with home life. Not any longer. Now she has to pick up the phone and communicate with me. Perish the thought of her talking to her mother. Will she be permitted to rejoin my FB? Possibly not. It is not because I want to punish her 'until the cows come home' but I don't particularly wish to have an eighteen year old watching over my shoulder.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Time for a little Christmas cheer and some green thoughts

As we approach the festive season I need to remind myself as well as hopefully you, my readers, that, although many human beings find the Christmas season to be an absolute pain in the proverbial.... Yes I am hearing you and say there is too much materialistic emphasis put on the season and quite frankly I agree. The world economy is not prepped to allow a season of spending, spending, spending, this year. The upside for those of us who look forward to putting up the Christmas tree and preparing those popular rum balls (my grandfather’s recipe - which naturally contains copious amounts of our fabulous Australian Bundaberg Rum and just enough Madeira cake, Cocoa powder, coconut and condensed milk to soak up that rum and hopefully hold together) is that I think we have learned that the year needs a little or should I say a lot of Christmas cheer to help us rid the roller coaster ride many of us have been on.

I can honestly tell you that I have had quite enough of this year and am, frankly, looking forward to farewelling 2011 and welcoming 2012 in with gusto. It seems there has been heavy clouds hanging over many many heads throughout the year all over the world and we were no exception. We were greeted at the beginning of the year with our dreadful floods which affected us both emotionally and physically (my car went under 5 metres of water) and caused such incredible devastation and loss of life; following this was the sudden and sad loss of a loved one to be then followed with a large negative influence which attempted to fracture our family unit; as well as constantly hearing from others the hardships the flood has brought upon so many; the Japanese earthquake; the New Zealand earthquake; the Bangkok floods; our local news constantly discussing whether the hydrologists should or shouldn’t release water from our large Wivenhoe dam as they predict another big wet season is about to greet us even though it has been our driest November in many many years and so it goes on and on. Accompanying this I can tell you that it was the quietest year I have had in my five years as a stallholder at our local market as we all understandably watch our pennies and through all of this, the constant of the GEC which we have all woken up with and gone to bed with for some two years now.  Quite frankly I have had enough and it is time for some fun.
Last evening we had our annual community BBQ around our apartment pool and which was a huge success and where the common theme of conversation was just as I have said, we all need some Christmas cheer to help turn the tides. Yep, I am talking some damn good belly laughs with some smiles thrown in for good luck.

So I am asking all who read this that although so many have suffered in so many ways this year and, including me, we may not have had the laughs and good fortune we had wished for on New Year’s day this year, as we all go about our Christmas shopping, albeit low key spending for many, can we all please make an effort to find a smile and pleasant comment or two for those we encounter whilst we enter into the festive season. I mean we all know Christmas shopping time seems to release in some of us the “Grinch” type attitude (and I am talking the pre-Cindy Lou Who-let’s-show this creature what can be achieved by being nice instead of angry period) with the “serve me first and quickly and let me get-the-hell-out-of-this-shop” type of human being. Yeah, it is true, shopping is tiring and boring and futile to many but have a thought of those behind the counters serving as well as the man or woman next to you in the line-up, not to mention that person who stole your car park seconds before you set foot inside the shop. That person next to you may have lost everything in the recent floods or in the GEC; they may have just heard the worst news possible about a loved one or about themselves, they may have even just lost their job and may be just about to lose their home. It is everywhere at the moment folks and no-one is immune from any of it.

So in this busy, exhausting and financially challenging Christmas season, instead of reminding yourself how much negativity life has allowed to land on your lap as I have just allowed myself to do, remember the saying ‘what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger’ and let’s allow some green and positive thoughts creep in to our heads. Before you want to give the evil glare to that car park thief, don't! And remember, even the wealthiest of the wealthy aren’t wealthy every second of every day....just look at the stock market!
So keep those heads up, find that smile that costs nothing and do one or two random acts of kindness for someone this Christmas season and some ‘thank you’s, ‘cheers’ or a’ Merry Christmas’ to a stranger or two even though you really just don’t feel like it. Trust me, it will make you feel like a million dollars.


Sunday, November 6, 2011

What the?

It was such a lovely morning yesterday, Sunday, that I, hubby and youngest daughter decided to visit the new Boggo Road Gaol Market, set up by the original Brisbane market trail blazer Ms Peta Hackworth. Peta set up the original Riverside Market many years ago and which kick-started the market world here in Brisbane and I thank you Peta for your foresight as I can now officially confess that I am indeed, a market junkie, I truly can't get enough of them!

On arriving at Boggo Road, hubby and I noted how the precinct had become modernised with the new to us Ecoscience building adorning the area, along with a new bus stop, just off Annerley Road. The old gaol has been looked after well, aesthetically speaking having clearly had an external gurneying in the near past and although they were conducting historical walks which meandered through the market area, these walks did not allow entry into the gaol.
Regardless, the market, though clearly in its early days, was substantial in the areas of fruit and veg, hot food stalls, craft stalls as well as having a couple of musicians/bands placed strategically throughtout the area and the surroundings were more than pleasant. Note: in these summer days, best to get to these markets in the earlier hours to avoid the heat. Note II: Don't be concerned, there are always adequate stalls ready to cure your hydration problems.

I felt in the mood for more market observing after our roaming at Boggo Road and not wanting to go home and conquer what was awaiting me in the laundry I encouraged hubby, with great success, to visit our old haunting grounds of Mitchelton, Blackwood Road Markets, run by Jan Power. On arrival, we noted that the set up was the same and I looked forward to seeing some familiar faces. Unfortunately this was not to be the case. Though the market had clearly expanded a little since my time there as a stall holder some two years ago, there were only three remaining original stalls which saddened both hubby and I. Not only was this a sad situation but what I found even more confronting which maddened me somewhat was that adorning market stall space at these markets are the local real estate chains and the local sitting politician! This young lady was handing out red carnations randomly to us to give to grandparents, as it was, she informed each person passing, grandparents day? Well I have since surfed this on the net and according to Wiki, yes it was National Australia’s Grandparents day, the first Sunday in November. Note to self for future reference!

It is a wonderful thing to see the weekend market life expand in our fair city, however as a stallholder for some 5 years now, I feel I must put my foot down and ask what the? According to Wiki, a market is any one of a variety of systems, institutions, procedures, social relations and infrastructures whereby parties engage in exchange. However in my eyes, this does not include real estate agents and pollies!! Don't these people like being on TV? So what are they doing occupying these wonderful markets?

Now we all know that in the good ol’ days, money was not factored into the original produce selling country market. Exchanging of goods was how it was done in the old days, alleviating the want for cash, and quite frankly this still exists in some situations. I for one exchange my products for other stallholder products and the almighty dollar does not enter the exchange which I truly love. Bring these days back I say! So how does a real estate agent and a politician exchange anything? The only things these people had were business cards and dehydrated flowers. Okay I will always settle for a flower, albeit dehydrated, but having these characters in a market place is just wrong in my eyes. No doubt they paid to have their stalls, I certainly hope so anyway. So this makes me question, and knowing how difficult it is to secure a spot at any popular market, did these characters take the place of a local producer eg farmer, butcher, candle stick maker, who are struggling to keep their heads above water especially in the present economic climate, or is it just that money talks and market organisers are much happier taking that almighty dollar from anyone who is willing to pay including politicians and real estate agents? I think someone may be missing the whole point of why we the people go to markets! It is to buy local products from our local supplies for affordable prices and to cut out that middle man, the BIG TWO, and save a pretty penny or two of the household budget.
Yes, I was extremely disappointed to see these groups now clearly working their way into the happy market place but I certainly hope that this is not a growing trend. As a stallholder I am not wanting to involve a middle man who I know will place another 300% on top of my asking price for my wares should I put them in their retail world and hence the markets is the ideal place for me and my gorgeous wares. Please leave the market stalls for us the local, hard-working producers, trying to make a penny and at the same time, make the public happy too. Keep the politicians on TV where they all seem to like it anyway!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

My creative side.....made with love and now available for purchase

I just wanted to let you all know that I have an addition to my market stall where I sell my lovely handmade greeting cards....these new handmade by me, upcycled denim bling bags are now available.

Made with heaps of love, the bags are made from denim jeans I purchase from local charity shops, are adorned with bling procured from near and far, come with a lovely scarf and are all fully lined and hand stitched. They are available online at www.louisedempsterbags.com and from the Davies Park Markets, Montague Road, West End here in Brisbane each Saturday 6am - 1pm (weather permitting). Come and say hi and peruse the latest collection. Eftpos facilities available.






Saturday, October 15, 2011

It's soccer or bust Australia!


Association football (also known as football or soccer) is the most widely played sport in the world. An estimated 3.5 billion have some interest in association football, either playing or watching it.


To say that the only codes of football in Australia are AFL, NRL and ARU is a fallacy my friends. History tells us of early evidence of soccer being played as a sport finds the occurrence in China and soccer is one of the most popular sports in Europe and the Americas.

In Australia, social football (soccer) has no specific start date since it was played sporadically across the country from the late 1870s between rival mining communities and visiting ship crews – mostly by English and Scottish natives. Organised football began with a game on Parramatta Oval (NSW) in August 1880 between Wanderers and Kings College. Wanderers won 5-0.

With a worldwide following in 2010 of Association football (also known as football or soccer) it is the most widely played sport in the world. An estimated 3.5 billion have some interest in association football, either playing or watching it ie 53 separate countries/teams compared to Australia’s 10 A-league teams.

I predicted this some three years ago and I predict this again in 2010: Australian soccer, or soon to be known as Australian football in the European scenario......will have the largest following population in Australia, far outweighing the rest of all the leagues.

As the saying goes my friends.....if you can’t beat them......join them.... and I have. Go the mighty Brisbane Roar.....Go Ange Postecoglou and the boys....Go the A-league. We love you all! Go Australian soccer, we are right behind you all!





Thursday, October 13, 2011

As Australian as football, meat pies and being a passionate female supporter

This weekend is a huge weekend for Australian footy ( the shortened word for football for my overseas readers who are not ‘in the know’ re Australian slang.) Australia vs New Zealand in the Rugby League test (go Darren Lockyer) as well as the World Cup Rugby Union semi-final in New Zealand, again Australia vs New Zealand. Now I know that so many of my female readers will be about to close this blog and wander off to do something a little more exciting than reading about men’s football but I for one must state that I LOVE AUSTRALIAN FOOTY! Did I receive a little more testosterone than the normal female dose?(Females do have testosterone.) Nope I don’t think so. I grew up in a female-dominant family, two sisters and one bro. So why the great love of these male-dominated sports? I put it all down to great patriotism and a little male influence too.

My maternal grandfather was a keen sportsman in his younger days and I cannot remember a weekend when visiting both him and my darling grandmother that the television wasn’t on and featuring some form of a sporting event be it cricket, league, union, tennis, golf and being a made keen golfer (he lived across the road from the Ashgrove golf links here in Brisbane and frequented it very very often) I remember him often standing in front of the television, talking to the commentators and voicing his opinion to them as if they could hear him. Hilarious at the time and guess who has now picked up this habit?

My father too was a feather-weight boxing champ in his army days; a cross country enthusiast again in his army days; was a keen cricketer and a very good one (wicket keeper mostly) and I was fortunate enough to meet the great Sir Viv Richards because of dad's interest in cricket. Dad also found himself on the judiciary of the Mt Isa Rugby League back in the days when we lived in ‘The Isa’ (great times) and let me tell you this position evoked much passion from the offending players and their supporters but we won't go there! After having three fabulous daughters, came my brother eight years my younger who not only was a fine goalkeeper for his Hilton soccer club in Mt Isa but also represented North-West Queensland as captain for age team; he captained his secondary school ‘firsts’ in cricket and had an outstanding year and he also played Rugby Union at the same school. I am sure I will be reminded by family members who read this that I have missed some things out but regardless this is a fine list of sporting prowess on so many levels.

This fine list has clearly been a major contributor to my interest in a plethora of sports. To add to this fine list, I married a Scotsman who not only follows the great (cough, splatter) Aberdeen team (which is sad for him as I am a Celtic supporter, the great green and white – my grandmother was a Glaswegian lassie and me being Catholic...yep.....and of course then there is the fab Rod Stewart too….) Hubby represented Scotland in Volleyball, was a cross-country runner, naturally played soccer as a youngster growing up in Scotland (dah!) and is also a retired junior soccer referee. My youngest daughter also plays soccer (oh and can I mention that she received the award for ‘most improved’ for team this year…so so proud of you darling…...thanks Paul!)

Don’t get me wrong, my female siblings were also great sports people. We three girls were fabulous swimmers and we took many awards away with us at meets, my mother was an ace tennis player, so too my eldest sister and the list goes on too.

Hence these have been my connections to the sporting world and I guess this is where the passion has come from and yes passionate I am! I was sitting in a room at a family friend’s house last weekend and we watched the last half of the Australia vs South Africa World Cup Rugby game after having a scrumptious BBQ lunch and to my amazement - ‘tis true, I did not think we would make it after watching our thrashing by the fabulous Irish, and how lovely it was that I was wrong -we beat those Seeth Africins but was sadly disappointed by the lack of Australian support in the room!

Now let me tell you what happened:- whilst sitting in this room which was dominated by Scotsmen (who sadly?….I don’t think so…. are out of the cup whoop whoop!) I discovered by their clear lack of enthusiasm for the score that they were NOT supporting the great Australian Wallabies. Sacrilege!! Due to this obvious lack of support, I dutifully reminded them all that I thought that theirs was a ‘poor call’ and I asked them to think about what country they were all presently living in and which they chose to live in! What country they had all found wealth and a great lifestyle? What country provides sunshine to them for three quarters of the year as opposed to their mother country and what country’s economic climate has held up against all others including the UK in the present economic climate oh and what country were they all presently living in, oh did I already say that? Yes, you could hear a pin drop.

Karma happened to them as Australia went on to win that game resulting in me jumping up, punching the air with my fist whilst yelling jubilantly GO THE WALLABIES!!! My fellow viewers were silent. Wanting to make the most of their clear demise, I then regrouped and just prior to me momentarily leaving the room to seek out the bathroom, I counted out loud whilst pointing to each of these Scots, yes those ‘non-Australian supporting offenders,’ and informed them I would be returning with a tissue for each so that they could cry into it. Again, their response was complete silence.

Yep, I am a very passionate Australian and Queenslander and more than proud to support these male sports, female and all! It doesn't always 'go down' terribly well in male company at times when I quote players names; declare that I thought that that pass was a forward pass and then the referee agreeing with me and awards a penalty etc. I am known to regularly tell THE MOST BIASED NSW league TV commentator, Gus Gould, to 'be quiet Gus' during any game he is commentating where a Queensland team is participating, because Gus really, really, really dislikes Queensland and takes great joy in showing his clear bias....shame on you Gus! I am often momentarily disappointed when my wonderful Brisbane Roar soccer team miss goals but so proud of their achievements during last season after having such a poor start. They won the A-League premiership last year….Whoop! Whoop (take that Mark Bosnich....love you Adam Peacock!) Being competitive is healthy and without competition we wouldn’t be able to use the letters VS would we?

So let’s get together my fellow Aussie girls and you lads….show your support for our great Australian sports men and women we have produced and I say Go the Kangaroos, Go the Wallabies and go Australia. The land of the great!

Sunday, October 9, 2011

The glass ceiling and women.....it is slowly being lifted

I am a suffragette from way-back-when. I was labelled with this word whilst working in the operating theatre during my nursing training days whilst I voiced my opinion to the ‘then’ surgical registrar whilst I assisted him during a procedure. He then referred to me from that day on as a suffragette, a label I feel proud to hold onto to this day – oh and might I add he dated me for a couple of months after that so he also felt comfortable with my outspoken approach to the powers of being a female.

The day women won the right to vote back in around 1893, was clearly a day when many men or maybe I should say most men swallowed with difficulty. History shows us that women seemed to have been created for the purpose of breeding and then child rearing, cooking, cleaning etc etc. However, thank goodness, gone are those days. Yes clearly we are required for breeding purposes and quite frankly any man who had to endure hours and hours of labour pains let alone birthing, in my and millions of other female’s opinions, would not be a good idea. However I must give credit where credit is due and let’s face it anatomically male musculature clearly allows our men to be physically more apt when it comes to laborious duties involving the expanding and contracting of the old muscles and that is a great thing. Don’t get me wrong, nobody adores men more than I and socially I usually feel more cerebrally stimulated listening to male conversation than those of my  own sex but there is no doubt that women are extremely capable at pulling in the dollars when it comes to employment as men are….just ask Westpac’s CEO Gail Kelly. There are more females than ever entering into the world or law, medicine, IT, engineering etc, and quite frankly I feel the boys feel very threatened by our presence in these male dominated professions.

We are repeatedly hearing the anecdotal comments regarding the corporate world allegedly trying to get rid of the ‘glass ceiling’ when it comes to women in corporate/CEO positions and indeed all top positions including political via the media, it is going to take an army of women to get this going. Mr Rupert Murdoch (born Keith Rupert Murdoch) and his News Ltd empire, clearly has a very strong hold on influencing our political views and controls most of what people read, watch and hear when it comes to Australian politics. Being a capitalist and as Australian political history shows us, capitalists and the Liberal party go hand-in-hand here in Australia, Mr Murdoch has, and this is not just my opinion but those of Australian advertising companies along with truly honest males, Rupert has a clear dislike for Ms Gillard and her Labor Party. We hear EVERY DAY AND I MEAN EVERY DAY currently Julia is clearly being pushed out by Rupert thanks to his media control. Julia cannot walk, talk, blink, breathe, dress, eat or do anything right in ‘his’ (the media’s) view. A recent male advertising guru agreed on national TV that Julia is being given an extraordinarily hard time and he believes it is mainly due to the fact that she is a WOMAN! Yes, admittance by a male.

Here is our first female Prime Minister, a graduate of law who became a partner at 29 at the firm she was employed by….is no mean feat. Clearly a tough and highly intelligent female who has had to contend with a male dominated political party from way back, during her uni student days and so knows that the boys are tough nuts to crack, but oh how she managed to do it at our last federal election.

During a recent TV interview an advertising mogul who admitted to the rough treatment of Julia by ‘the boys’, he was quick to state that he felt Julia was a very strong female and he had the utmost belief in her that she is strong enough for the clear ‘stirring of the pot’ she is currently enduring as a female prime minister and will no doubt have to endure this agitation for some time to come, maybe even forever.

Julia is lacking talent in presentation and marketing. Is Swanny any better at selling? No and this is the problem these two face. You cannot take away from the Howard and Costello or Hawke and Keating advertising campaign that they managed to ‘sell’ their party’s strategies hence their political longevity. Yes, they suffered from verbal diarrhoea and it worked. Yes, Julia needs to scrub up on her salesmanship big time, however, support/teachers for this absent talent come from the back rooms advisors of Labor. They are clearly not stepping up. Why? Because they want her out too maybe?

My thoughts…….hang in there Julia…..you are a forced to be reckoned with…..yes we do live in a world where it is clearly dominated by the attitude of “jobs for the boys” and the lack of CEO female positions talks for itself. Quite frankly whether you were Liberal or Labor, you would be given a damn hard time by many due to you being female. Yes, we have to change things and yes it will be left to the females to do so unfortunately. Are we not capable of managing these top positions? Absolutely not. Do the men feel threatened by females moving up the corporate ladder? Understandably and absolutely yes and that is a pill they are just going to have to learn to swallow. We gals are more than capable of holding these top jobs. Some would say no thank you and that is fine. Many would say yes please and to those ladies I say hold on because your day is fast approaching.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Stop and smell the roses

Those of you who read my blog regularly will know that I am a market stall holder and sell my gorgeous handmade cards very cheaply here in Bris Vegas. There is never a weekend that goes by that I don't go home from our day at the markets, inspired and enthralled by chatting to the public for whatever reasons. I was engaged in two consecutive conversations at our last market day by customers who own parrots. Now I am meaning that one converstation happened straight after the other, with about a 15 minute gap and I am pretty sure that neither know eachother. I was fascinated as was my hubby.What are the chances?

I love nature very much and my Lady Lou Lettuce blog clearly confirms this fact. I don't think, however that I have ever taken enough time to learn about these amazing creations. I have a father who over the years has been a keen bird watcher and was often sighted with binoculars in hand gazing up at a gum tree observing the feathered creature of interest. I also, bought a rather expensive book on birds so that I too could start identifying various bird life which surrounded us as I lived across the road from a reserve. On a recent visit to our fabulous Lone Pine Bird and Koala Sanctuary I stood in wonderment gazing at the plethora of bird life on display and I guess in my case it is more the amazing colours that mother nature has bestowed on them that attracts me to these lovely creatures. However my parrot people taught me much about these amazing creatures that day and just how incredibly intelligent they are, how they do take on the role as a feathered human being when mixing with humans and I was in awe about my lessons that day and am truly appreciative of my newly acquired knowledge on parrot life.

On the same day, as I sat and crocheted my soon to be eco-friendly and very colourful shoulder bag, I realised my craft was being observed by a male bystander. On lifting my head, he stood there not a foot away from me and I smiled and said hi. He returned the favour and we commenced a conversation about the fine old craft of crochet informing me he was waiting for his partner to complete the fruit n veg purchasing across the path from me.  He explained to me how his grandmother used to crochet and how he used to admire her workmanship and I explained to him that it was my grandmother who indeed taught me to crochet. We then conversed about craft and how wonderful it is, he admired my handmade greeting cards, told me they were too cheap for the workmanship and advised me to increase the price. I thanked him for his advice and his compliments and then he parted as his partner approached having completed his purchases. It was a short but pleasant encounter and I appreciated his kind words and his story about his grandmother.

I cannot explain to you how my days at the markets inspires and motivates me and how much I appreciate human interaction. I guess being head down and bottom up for the week here in my work room allows me my personal and quiet time, especially being a busy mum of two teenagers and I do so appreciate my "time out" creating. Also, however, I very much look forward to my market day, conversing with those who are from all walks of life, who I can learn so much from and who make my heart sing with their compliments of appreciation for my card workmanship.

Life makes us all so focused on that 9 to 5 clock, paying that bill, worrying and wondering why your child isn't showing any interest in a subject or two at school and "oh what will become of them?" Chill girl, chill! Yes, crappy things will happen but these too shall pass and will be followed by laughter. I have learnt to let toxic words from others dissipate into nothingness as they own them and not me. There will always be clouds with silver linings. It is time to stop and listen and take time and worry a little less about those dirty dishes in the sink or getting that washing in off the line. I do very much love to stop and listen to the positivity of others about things like say parrots and grandmothers who were great at crocheting and oh how I appreciate it all.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Keeping up with the Joneses

I was privileged enough to be having a cup of coffee with some of my wonderful girlfriends the other day. I love to catch up with my BFFLs (best friends for life), and as the majority of females will agree, I honestly believe and so too will the world of psychology, that female interaction with females, strengthens the soul. Well it strengthens my soul anyway.

Women are experts at being able to chat about any topic and give wide and intelligent opinions about these matters. I have often, on occasion, sat down with a very direct opinion on life’s matters and come away from my BFFLs with a completely different attitude about that topic. The change in attitude I attribute to listening to various opinions and then being intelligent enough to heed these incredibly wise women thus analysing and accepting the contributions of their differing ideas and forming a sometimes different opinion from my learned colleagues….the most powerful people roaming this earth……females albeit mothers, wives or whatever!
Now my collection of girlfriends varies greatly in backgrounds and social status etc and I love them all. I however, and those who know me well, will know that snobs Ville and I don’t mix well at all….a bit like water and oil in a bottle. Regardless, I love to sit and listen and of course contribute with my verbal input and take home with me all I have heard (well if that is possible as retaining all of the information these women contribute in one coffee session would be a little impossible on some days as not even a court secretary be able to type fast enough, trying to record our chat). Regardless, it is great information which I hold very dearly as I do my girlfriends.

These female friendships have taught me much over the years, and will continue . I guess some think that I have had a slightly privileged upbringing having had private schooling but my parents have taught me through life, not by words but by actions, that life has its ups and downs, especially financially and I have never taken anything for granted, oh..........maybe those Barbie dolls over the years oh and OK, no doubt a few other things. Forgive me.
Having relatives who have been associated with ‘old money’ and have travelled much, no doubt spent much but who also have had very difficult times too, again, has taught me to never take anything for granted.

Sure I have owned a Mercedes Benz, eaten at The Ritz in London, have travelled a fair bit and live in a fabulous apartment but none of this has been dropped in my lap, so to speak. Having a nursing background exposed me at the tender age of eighteen to death and dying; I watched by first and only autopsy on this person at eighteen; I have given a colonic bowel wash to one of our leading neurosurgeon’s relatives and survived, both of us that is; I have watched my own flesh and blood at the age of two undergo live-saving surgery; I was to sit and watch, on an eight hour shift, a young man who was on suicide watch and who was simply needing to feel he belonged in our society; I was assigned, again at nineteen, to sit and encourage a group of adolescent females who suffered from anorexia nervosa to eat nutricious food during many of my nursing shifts;  I have been and still am privy to chats with girlfriends who have come asking me for advice on a plethora of serious life topics which still humbles me whenever this occurs; I have experienced quite a bit in life thus far.
I guess these things have really ‘grounded’ me and made me very aware that good things come and good things go yet can be obtained again and this is why when I hear of friends and acquaintances trying to keep up with the Joneses makes me squirm and protest a little.

I was chatting not so long ago by a parent who I had known for some time who informed me that they were off overseas skiing, had purchased their new luxury car, had enrolled their eldest at one of the elite male schools and were building a brand new and very large home. “Oh how wonderful” I remember exclaiming to her, most envious and wishing to be in that position. At that time I was a single parent, hadn’t been on a holiday with my beautiful children for quite some time and lived month to month hoping that that maintenance payment would be received but always in the back of my head knowing that if it didn’t, the house would have to be sold, the children taken out of private schooling and goodness knows where I would have to reside with my precious kids. As I stood there gazing at this lady and being quite envious of her conversation, it was in her next sentence that allowed me to regroup. “Oh, we are on final notice from our electricity supplier due to our failing to pay the past couple of bills, but hey, so what, we are going ahead with our plans regardless.”  Say what? Yep, it was all true and I stood in bewilderment about her ‘devil may care’ attitude.

To this day, I cannot tell you if all of this lady’s plans fell into place or if indeed she has electricity in her life. Is this the reason why Australia’s credit card debt is $50 billion dollars presently? How much of it is owed by her? I don’t know and quite frankly I do not want to know. All I know is that very very very little of it is owed by me . I still have the same credit card limit I had when I applied for it at the age of eighteen and that’s the truth. My attitude is if you don’t have the cash, don’t buy it. Okay, there are exceptions such as buying a house, car and any emergencies such as medical etc but hey boys and girls what is this world coming to?

I watch as my now adolescent teenager mixes in her university circle of friends, who are children of a large demographic of families. I listen to some of them chat about the latest mobile phones they have, whose parents drive what cars, where holidays are taken and what suburb they intend living in when they are all “degreed- up” and I love to hear it all. My teenager, who has been taught much by her frugal mother, but currently listens little, spending her plentiful supply and interestingly-sourced funds and watches me intently watching her acquire another designer good purchase whilst I shake my head in disbelief and disapproval.  This “Burberry-wearing, Givenchy-talking” adolescent knows that I have my proverbial tongue in my cheek as I nod at her saying “oh, fabulous.” Yes, she knows that “credit card city” is not the place where I want her living in the future but I can rest easy knowing that, as a student of law, and who is now eighteen and hence legal, she is responsible for her actions and thank goodness her bills, should she walk into 'that' city.

So I sit back and watch the next credit-card and money-crazy generation coming through, not all but many, and listen as some of my generation chat about the who’s who of Brisbane and who’s travelling to which exotic resort and how many pairs of Jimmy Choo shoes who has acquired over the last month on which credit card and I heed it all. In my eyes, the people who are so busy keeping up with the Joneses don’t realise that they are sitting with a member of that Jones family, sipping that cup of coffee and that would be me. No, I don’t have to have acquired the latest Mercedes Benz or the ten pairs of Jimmy Choo shoes to be a Jones family member, I just need to have the money in the bank to pay for that upcoming electricity bill and thank goodness I do, and it’s cash!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Mr Darcy, Mr Darcy!

I was delighted to see the other day on a TV advertisement that the movie Jane Eyre is about to be released at the cinemas. Ok, we have seen a plethora of Jane Eyre series on TV and at the cinema for many a year but what normal female can resist these fantastic classics. I know I can’t. Oh love…..you can’t beat it.

The idealism of love, ‘an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment’ is just too wonderful to live without. As you look back in time and see the plethorically abundant libraries of movies of these fabulous classics just makes my heart sing. To watch Colin Firth galloping over the heath on that horse in the role as the scrumptious Mr Darcy in the classic Pride and Prejudice makes my ovaries turn! What girl hasn’t dreamt of being Lizzie, waiting for the announcement by the maid of his arrival at her modest but love-filled home? Mr Darcy walking in, all six foot something of him (okay these height calculations may be wrong here but let me pretend), whilst he hesitantly asks for her hand in marry, but is rejected………what?........well he did say previously that she was ‘tolerable but not enough to tempt me’ which darling Lizzie overheard and let’s face it, wouldn’t we all be a little peeved off hearing this from a man of his stature. Oh don’t worry……he tries again later, just like this in fact…..

DARCY: You are too generous to trifle with me. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes are unchanged; but one word from you will silence me on this subject forever.

ELIZABETH: Oh, Mr. Darcy. I... I...
DARCY: ...If your feelings are the same, just say so. I'll go away. You'll never see me again.

ELIZABETH: I... I...

DARCY: ...I have no right to expect anything but your censure. My behaviour has been abominable.
ELIZABETH: Mr. Darcy...

DARCY: ...Miss Elizabeth, you're so quiet.
ELIZABETH: Mr. Darcy, how can you even speak to me after the terrible things I said last April?

DARCY: How can I speak to you? But the only thing I want to do is to speak to you, Miss Elizabeth. Forever.
ELIZABETH: Mr. Darcy.. I... I...

DARCY: I've never stopped loving you, Elizabeth. But if you --
ELIZABETH: But the things I said to you, ...

DARCY: I deserved everything you said.
ELIZABETH: Not entirely. I was wrong about so many things.

DARCY: It all tortured me, for weeks and weeks. Not because it was hurtful, but because I eventually realized how true it was. I had been so, so...
ELIZABETH: My sentiments have changed, Mr. Darcy, so very much. In fact... I must say... I have to say... that I must receive with gratitude ...and pleasure... oh...

DARCY: Miss Elizabeth, are you trying to say...
ELIZABETH: Yes. ...Oh yes, Mr. Darcy.

DARCY: Oh Elizabeth, I can hardly believe it. Do you mean it?
ELIZABETH: Yes.

DARCY: I prayed and prayed for another chance to ask you.
ELIZABETH: When you left for London I thought I'd never see you again.

DARCY: You were so quiet at Longbourn. I was hoping you'd at least insult me, or admonish me, or anything at all. Any excuse to look into your eyes.
ELIZABETH: I was too embarrassed to speak.

DARCY: When I was in London two days ago I had almost resolved to come back and just ask you straight out. I was steeling myself for another humiliation. And then my aunt came to visit.
ELIZABETH: She did? Oh, Mr. Darcy, I was so horribly rude to her. She'll never forgive me.

DARCY: I don't care anymore. She told me all about her visit. It serves her right. She made me realize that there was still hope. How can I ever apologize for her behaviour?
ELIZABETH: She gave you hope? Oh, my. Perhaps we should be grateful to her.

DARCY: I must confess, my own feelings were similar to hers for such a long time, for most of my life in fact. That's how I was raised. But I never counted on meeting anyone like you.
ELIZABETH: Oh, Mr. Darcy.  (then we cut to)

DARCY: Oh, Lizzy. I must go to your father immediately. I can't wait.
LIZZY: Oh. Perhaps you should wait a day or so. My father may still be skeptical.

DARCY: As you wish. But I want you to come to Netherfield as soon as you can to dance that reel with me.
Oh, Lizzie, Lizzie you lucky girl!

For those of us who just can’t get enough of Mr Firth as Mr Darcy then here you are:   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0dmzLkaQFE
Then there is Wuthering Heights where Catherine and Heathcliff go through torrid times to find that they love each other but this ends in tragedy.

What is it with the mental and sometimes physical cruelty that often comes with these unbelievable and overwhelming bonds of love in these classics? Mr Rochester and Jane certainly have a torrid time, Darcy and Lizzie go through their mental teasing, Heathcliff and Catherine have a cruel time, not so much with Little Women and their male suitors, …….it gets a little over the top sometimes however, I guess that is why Darcy and Lizzie have a big part of my heart, a little teasing but no real cruelty.

I am off now to put my DVD of Pride and Prejudice on, featuring the scrumptious Mr Firth and then follow it with a double dose of Colin's Bridget Jones’ Diary. Prejudice? Yes I am when it comes to Mr Firth, and I admit this with great pride!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Mothers and sons and girlfriends and growing pains

I have recently worked out just how incredibly lucky I have been in life with regards marriage or should I say the additions which accompany the husband in marriage. By this gibberish I mean I have avoided being landed with one of those dreaded negative mother-in-law the world talks about, those who are to be held accountable for the mother-in-law jokes scattered throughout the world! Unfortunately it appears to be the male's mother who seems to be the firelighter in these relationships. The repetitive story of ‘no girl will ever be good enough for my son’ type. Now don’t get me wrong, I know that some of those mothers-in-law out there are very well behaved. You will know who you are because your married children will tell you! However as we all know there are some shockers out there and if you don’t believe me, just watch Dr Phil on TV….he has some real doozies on the show.
History tells us that women are the nurturers, we bear and look after the children, we look after the home and the husband, and hold down a job along with hopefully sprinkling somewhere in there some “me” time. Clearly this woman is incredible. On the other hand, the male works. A slight imbalance in duties here but that is the way it is. He has been the major breadwinner in the family as history states, but times are certainly changing in that area as women seem to also be very decent pay packet earners.
I hear many of you guys blurting out what about the wife’s mother. Yeah, sure. That incredible person, a mother who has raised this woman and who has nurtured this woman into the wife that this guy now desires to live with for the rest of his life. So doesn’t that mean she has done something right? Look fellas as the saying goes, look at the wife’s mother and you will see what your wife will turn into. If you don’t like what you see…..don’t marry her daughter. Dah!
That mother-son bond is really something else. So why the power of the mother over the son? Well she is his nurturer through life. Beginning in early childhood, a very strong bond is established in which the mother becomes the little boy's object of tremendous feelings of love and affection. If dad is absent for whatever reason, maybe due to having an occupation which takes him away from his family for long hours or is simply absent, the mother is this boys constant. She is the light of his life, so to speak. He models his likes and dislikes on this woman. Later on, she becomes the model by which the young man chooses a girlfriend and eventually a wife. If you recall the song "I want to marry a girl, just like the girl, that married dear old Dad" there it is!
As these boys mature, mothers who are dependent on their boys for affection, support or love, believe they are exempt from the changes taking place in their sons. They are not. The love, companionship and closeness that formerly comforted both of them has now been tainted by the young man's sexuality. He now sees his mum as trying to control him and as being prying and invasive. What brings him peace is not her love, but distance from her. He will obtain that distance any way he can. That includes verbalizing the desire to go live with someone else. The mother is devastated and does everything to hold on to that source of love and affection. Cue the girlfriend, someone to look after him without the smothering and ‘no one will be good enough for my son’ attitude.
Female behaviour develops slightly differently. Distance is definitely sought to prove herself as a young women. However young women are those nurturers and future mothers and seem to latch on to this idealism pretty quickly in life and become less dependent on their mothers being far more willing to step out and nurture. Cue the boyfriend, someone to nurture and love.
To confirm this, in a fairly recent relationship poll, when females were asked why they marry, the major reason was ‘I fell in love.’ When males were polled the major reason was ‘to have someone to look after me.’ See it is true.
So as the mother of a daughter who will, maybe, one day marry, I am allowing myself to watch this exact thing happen to my daughter in front of my eyes. She wants to nurture and is able to do this with her boyfriend and boyfriends to come until she choses the 'one.' Her boyfriend is undergoing the above mentioned changes with his mother, replacing her, or at least starting the process in readiness for that day somewhere in his future when he will decide to replace her with the girl of his dreams whoever she may be. Life is fascinating…..it is inevitable.

Now I can hear some of those mothers of sons out there who will be upset and take this all too personally because they think that they are a potentially interfering mother-in-law, am I? Maybe you are already are? Here is some advice from all of those wives out there who are nurturing and loving your sons: Don't just volunteer your opinon in their lives....wait to be invited. We know most of you mean well but some of you just can't help but stick your nose in without invitation. Think before you speak.
Here is something I read recently in an article about a mother feeling left out…..”A wise friend once told me, many years ago, that to celebrate her own birthday she took presents to her mother as thanks for bringing her into the world, acknowledging all the hard work and dedication that it involves.” Oh, how lovely. I can’t see that happening to me and my eighteen year old offspring for a little while yet, however ‘this too shall pass.’

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Calling the motley crew of year one, class of 1967 Mater Dei Brisbane.....is there anybody out there?

When my girlfriend from school, year one (1967 Mater Dei Primary School, Ashgrove, Brisbane, Australia) and who I have kept in touch with for all these years, recently suggested that “maybe the two of us should organise a year one class reunion?” I laughed, nearly hysterically, naturally. Let’s face it, where would we start? At first I could find all the excuses in the world until I thought of that amazing invention called the internet. [I was going to give you all a history lesson about where the internet all began like if I Google it and go on to Wiki, it states computers started around the 50’ and 60’s and then there is a whole lot of gibberish about NASA etc and quite frankly when I have one hundred greeting cards to hand-make by Friday, children to cure from the common cold and husbands (no make that just one husband) to help prepare for an away-conference, my time is of the essence so NASA and co’s involvement in the world of technology will have to wait for another day.]
I have pondered over the idea of this reunion knowing that it would be easier to achieve now than if we didn’t have computers and the internet, right? Well yes and no. My darling girlfriend has a hubby who knows the whereabouts of some of the boys which is great. I have Googled many names, searched Facebook and things are not as tricky as they would have been prior to the internet. I have managed to find one of our class members back then, the lovely Leesa who thankfully knows the whereabouts of some of the girls and so surely this should then lead to other leads which will lead to other leads ‘et cetera et cetera et cetera’ (Yul Brynner from the movie The Kind and I), so I think it should be OK.
Now I know that most of the girls will have changed their surnames, some will have left the city, state and even country so the idea seemed at first, that it would be an overwhelming and somewhat absurd task………..Now, I am not so sure. In fact, I am quite enjoying the challenge.
It is interesting how, after some forty plus years since having been with these little munchkins way back then and who are now fifty year old or thereabouts, I can still recall primary school day memories. The first man landing on the moon (1969) was a huge day and we were all carted off to various homes to watch this amazing event (I guess our school didn’t have any televisions back then…..I can’t remember.) Anyway, I was in the group invited to Paul’s house. He was and hopefully still is a lovely guy and was secretly in love with me at that time I think and oh what an amazing day that was and those astronauts. Procuring the lead role in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs was another memory. I, having white blonde hair in those days, had to wear a black bobbed wig and I remember I had to fall over (with grace and style of course) having bitten into that dreaded apple and whilst landing, my blonde hair escaped through the ‘cracks’ of the wig and the audience thought this was very funny, along with my probably not-so-graceful fall onto the stage. Another memory is as I recall one of the girls telling us that she “watched a movie from start to finish last night and she didn’t blink through the whole thing!” Yeah sure! Ah, what lovely and funny memories.
Reminiscing I think Gaye was the smartest girl in the class (though I think that will be contested at the reunion) and always had boxes of Twisties under her mum’s bed. It’s true. I would see them when we visited and yes she would give me some packets! Patrick was the smartest guy; Lou-ann had the longest and prettiest hair; Pammy had a fabulous giggle and smile (Pammy moved to Sydney.) First communion too was another important event (yes, it was a Catholic school) and I have a photo of us all 'dressed to the nines' in our white dresses and the boys looking very smart in their gear. I looked gorgeous I must say and that dress….wow! I think mum made it for me….it was stunning!
I am trying to envisage just what it will be like when we get this ‘motley crew’ together. I could only imagine the stories that will come out like who studied what where? Are there any neurosurgeons or astrophysicists in the group? Any Playboy Bunnies? Did anyone become famous or marry someone famous? How many Mercedes Benz’s will turn up in the car park (there will be at least one that I know of) and how many cheaper cars (that would be me and my little runabout, a replacement car having ‘lost’ my lovely Honda Accord in the recent floods.) How many married or not? Who married who? Who has a house in the south of France? How many of us are grandparents (me for one, ok a step grand-mum but that still counts.) Stop! I tell you, stop!….It will be fascinating, exciting and no doubt a little shocking too but oh how I am looking forward to this reunion now.
I can recall Maurice, Patrick, Paul, Paul, Gaye, Pamela, Brad, Lou-Ann, Alison, Joanne, Leanne, Sharon, Rosemary, Michelle, Debbie, Madonna, Mark, Mary, Mary and no doubt more will come to mind. I have in my hand the photo of our grade 3 with the teacher Mrs ? Vesna 1969 (pronounced Vayzna from memory) if that helps anyone out there and there are fifty-two of us in this photo. Yes, I remember Mrs V well. I had started to put curls on the end of my ‘s’s’ in my writing and Mrs V returned by work to me asking me if my ‘s’s’ had “been to the hairdresser?" Rude and uncalled for Mrs V! (So I found the straightening iron and stopped the curls!)
So back to reality and the quest of finding these classmates. If anyone knows anyone who attended Mater Dei Primary School, Ashgrove, Brisbane in 1967 as a year one student, please let them know that Louise and Louise are looking for them. They can place a comment below which would be great oh and no masqueraders please. Remember I have a photo and real names!
Now I am off to cure the common cold! Maybe this will be an easier task…I hope not.