Let's have a chat and it'll be OK

I recall my nursing days where Psychology was a mandatory subject and as I stick my chest out now whilst typing away here, may I say I did extremely well in this subject (I wish I could say the same about some other subjects but hey we can’t all be good at everything right?) I found this subject fascinating. However I didn’t realise just how important this area of science really was back then and was to become today and to me. As a student it was simply a subject we were to utilise and apply to our patient’s situations as they confronted their illnesses and how to use psychology in being as supportive and understanding as possible. May I say that we also had qualified psychologists ‘on tap’ at the hospital and it was they who dealt with the ‘heavy’ stuff and I guess that is why I took a slightly laid-back attitude back then.  ‘Tis true, I loved to chat to my patients, and clearly still do love to chat and be supportive. There is no doubt in my mind that these amazingly helpful and interesting people have studied an area of human behavioural science with the intent to help others and, quite frankly, I take my hat off to them.

I have found it very interesting for years now, along with being a little sad too how some of the world still views psychologists, counsellors etc as people to fear. Well, they deal with ‘crazy’ people I hear some of you say, drug addicts and all of the really negative and bad situations in life. How wrong and toxic this attitude is. Why is it that there are a plethora of workplace psychologists now in existence? Is it that only ‘crazy’ people adorn the corridors of our workplaces? Absolutely not. There is clearly a legitimate need for these people or workplaces would not have the need for them.

It wasn’t until later in life I really came face to face myself with counsellor. For personal reasons I sought some advice when I was dealt a heavy blow and needed some help trying to find some answers to my many questions going through my mind. Friends and family were all too emotionally involved for me to really get to the ‘nitty gritty’ of my situation and give me unbiased opinions so I rang my GPs office. The lady kindly referred me to someone who was to become not only my helper but also a friend too. I had no hesitation in seeking out this lady and I guess I could thank my nursing training for my acceptance and my need to talk.

Dr V was a God-send to me. Not only was she a GP but also a counsellor and we ‘got along like a house on fire.’ Over a period of time she guided me through the realities of my life and gave me fabulous insight into my situation and ways to deal with the challenges that were to follow. I really looked forward to ‘dumping’ my woes on her lap each visit and remember walking out of her office each time feeling so much ‘lighter,’ content, happy and capable. My usually happy demeanour was constantly being attacked by an external source and I needed to regroup and get back to where I had been and knew I was heading there and in time all would be manageable. After my sessions with her and realising I had sufficient insight into my challenging situation, she asked if I would assist her with a research paper she was to present to her colleagues. I agreed with delight and then we parted ways as she moved to a new city.

 I met up with this wonderful lady socially not so long ago and thanked her for her assistance ‘way back when’ and she hugged me and assured me she enjoyed each visit too. Oh how sweet!

For years later I would talk much about this fabulous lady to friends and family, and some would shy away when I mentioned the word ‘counsellor’ or ‘psychologist’ whilst observing a little fear in their eyes. However I would also receive ‘secret’ phone calls from some, asking me the name and number of this lady as they had some things they would like to chat about or ‘had a friend’ who could use some guidance with a situation or two. Naturally I shared Dr Vs contact details with them with delight. Clearly I had helped open some eyes.

Some years later when, finding that this lovely lady had retired, I needed to find someone to do some more 'dumping,'  let’s say I needed a refresher course and 'tracked down' a very nice lady. I find it so reassuring knowing I can go to that neutral person who will listen to me, and offer some guidance in dealing with these situations and I can do nothing but praise these amazing people and the fantastic work they do.

The media and course consultants have made it clear that never has there been a more evident period in time when these wonderful human beings are in great demand. Schools now have on site psychologists.  Crises such as 9/11 and the Brisbane floods, the Victorian bushfires, the ever-increasing divorce rate and the affect it has on families have brought to fruition the need for human psychological assistance. I had even contemplated studying the subject as it fascinates me greatly.  I had bought the books and was about to enrol but decided against it.  I think it is one thing to have the gift for sitting and listening but to deal with the realities of some lives where children are affected by family issues or counselling people through the death of a loved one or dealing with criminals and their behaviour or toxic parenting etc. etc. is just too much for me to contemplate and hence I have left it to those who are very gifted in this area. I think I made a good choice.

The fear factor still very much exists with so many when it comes to the words psychologist and counsellor. I do feel however that this is also a generational problem and in time it will dissipate and it is doing so already. I understand that the fear comes from the thought of sitting in a room with a complete stranger and divulging your thoughts, fears and joys, needing to be open and honest with this person and I 'get' that. I, however, fear none of it and expose my 'warts and all' and it’s really OK. I have always liked chatting to anyone who would like to listen and I know people like chatting to me and that’s a good thing in my mind.