Now here is a subject that you men who read my blog will be about to scroll away from, up or down, anywhere but here though I wish you wouldn’t leave. The subject: Menopause or Change of Life or call it what you will. No wait guys, don’t go anywhere, it isn’t that bad (for you anyway) and quite frankly as a nurse, wife, mother and female, I ask for a few moments of your time to hear me out, so take a deep breath….you will be OK I promise. Ladies, this won’t be anything some of you don’t already know and have felt and for the rest who have not hit this fork in the road yet, I welcome you into my world of peri-menopause.
The definition of menopause, having read many articles on this fact and which is fabulously inevitable for us girls though a little sad too, is: the ceasing of menstruation/the period in a woman’s life, typically between 45 and 50 (though it can happen earlier) when this occurs. Personally just the fact that it is called MEN opause, leads me into that world of sarcasm wanting the men to have to endure this instead of WO men. After all, surely childbirth is enough to go through with the massive hormonal ups and downs nine months prior and yet, some years later, we endure these cruel hormonal swings yet again. I can hear some of my ‘sisters’ out there saying ‘well the men wouldn’t be able to handle childbirth so menopause is just asking way too much.’ I am hearing you girls, though I must stand up for my ‘brothers’ and say I think there would be a number of them who could endure childbirth, not many, but some.
So I found myself in peri-menopause in my late forties having been advised by my GP after blood tests confirmed my situation and that this indeed was inevitable (this is the stage leading up to menopause where hormonal levels and moods start changing without any real warning whatsoever, thanks so much!) I accepted this fact gracefully and was also advised by my GP that I was to surrender The Pill. I obeyed as any good peri-menopausal girl would.
What was to come I must say was to say the very least, unfair, cruel, below-the-belt etc etc. The extreme tiredness was probably the first and worst thing, oh, no, that with my mood swings oh and not to mention the hot flushes oh and I forgot to mention the weight gain too plus the lapses in memory. Have I got it all? Probably not. Oh being peri-menopausal is a real party I say with much sarcasm! I just wished I hadn’t been placed on that guest list.
Having read much about this subject, I sought some assistance not opting for the hormonal replacements; instead acupuncture appealed more to me which I receive from a qualified friend who has also been treating my back pain for many years (two slipped discs and some scoliosis thrown in for good luck.) This acupuncture has certainly helped me along with the Chinese herbs he suggested I take occasionally when things seem to get the better of me.
Months have passed and the flushes come and go but not very often now thank goodness thanks to the herbs (for the moment anyway.) I am guilty of lying in bed at night, eyes wide open unable to sleep, though this problem is becoming less and less, with my left leg hanging over the side escaping the bed covers, trying to cool down and hence regulate my body temperature. Apparently this is very common with my fellow menopausal friends and something we often giggle about when chatting about our girlie ‘stuff.’ Yes as I said previously, I am forgetful occasionally but that is why they invented children and Post It note pads. Both help remind me of many things and I love them dearly for it, the children this is, not the Post its. My moods have settled pretty well (for the moment anyway) and life seems to have turned a positive corner.
I have been open and honest with my girls and hubby. I think you really need to do this. Look I am not suggesting you tie them each to a chair and MAKE them listen utilising the nearest megaphone you have at your disposal whilst blasting into their ears questions like……”Do you know how lucky you are having a mother like me?……Do you appreciate all the things I have done for you over the years?....Well, do you?” I do however feel that you owe it to them to be up front and honest to establish some sort of understanding. I recall during our summer months whilst standing fanning myself with anything that could do the job whilst asking my girls “is it hot or is it just me?” usually it was just me and my hot flushes. My girls have accepted and are understanding of these changes, hubby is as interested as I can expect any normal man to be and he has come to lend a sympathetic ear when I ask him for a hug or when he sees Mt Vesuvius slowly releasing the steam through her aural orifices. Hey, I never said I was perfect!
For the time being I sit and hope, I really really do, that I am on my way to being able to proclaim to the world in the distant future that I have experienced menopause and therefore have legal permission to use this word in my vocabulary and joining my other menopausal sisters roaming this world. As it stands, I take each day as it comes, some are good some a little less than good but that is OK. I am only human after all and I have little control over this thing called peri-menopause. So I wait and wait.
Are you still there guys? Well done if you are.
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