Women are experts at being able to chat about any topic and give wide and intelligent opinions about these matters. I have often, on occasion, sat down with a very direct opinion on life’s matters and come away from my BFFLs with a completely different attitude about that topic. The change in attitude I attribute to listening to various opinions and then being intelligent enough to heed these incredibly wise women thus analysing and accepting the contributions of their differing ideas and forming a sometimes different opinion from my learned colleagues….the most powerful people roaming this earth……females albeit mothers, wives or whatever!
Now my collection of girlfriends varies greatly in backgrounds and social status etc and I love them all. I however, and those who know me well, will know that snobs Ville and I don’t mix well at all….a bit like water and oil in a bottle. Regardless, I love to sit and listen and of course contribute with my verbal input and take home with me all I have heard (well if that is possible as retaining all of the information these women contribute in one coffee session would be a little impossible on some days as not even a court secretary be able to type fast enough, trying to record our chat). Regardless, it is great information which I hold very dearly as I do my girlfriends.
These female friendships have taught me much over the years, and will continue . I guess some think that I have had a slightly privileged upbringing having had private schooling but my parents have taught me through life, not by words but by actions, that life has its ups and downs, especially financially and I have never taken anything for granted, oh..........maybe those Barbie dolls over the years oh and OK, no doubt a few other things. Forgive me.
Having relatives who have been associated with ‘old money’ and have travelled much, no doubt spent much but who also have had very difficult times too, again, has taught me to never take anything for granted.
Sure I have owned a Mercedes Benz, eaten at The Ritz in London, have travelled a fair bit and live in a fabulous apartment but none of this has been dropped in my lap, so to speak. Having a nursing background exposed me at the tender age of eighteen to death and dying; I watched by first and only autopsy on this person at eighteen; I have given a colonic bowel wash to one of our leading neurosurgeon’s relatives and survived, both of us that is; I have watched my own flesh and blood at the age of two undergo live-saving surgery; I was to sit and watch, on an eight hour shift, a young man who was on suicide watch and who was simply needing to feel he belonged in our society; I was assigned, again at nineteen, to sit and encourage a group of adolescent females who suffered from anorexia nervosa to eat nutricious food during many of my nursing shifts; I have been and still am privy to chats with girlfriends who have come asking me for advice on a plethora of serious life topics which still humbles me whenever this occurs; I have experienced quite a bit in life thus far.
I guess these things have really ‘grounded’ me and made me very aware that good things come and good things go yet can be obtained again and this is why when I hear of friends and acquaintances trying to keep up with the Joneses makes me squirm and protest a little. I was chatting not so long ago by a parent who I had known for some time who informed me that they were off overseas skiing, had purchased their new luxury car, had enrolled their eldest at one of the elite male schools and were building a brand new and very large home. “Oh how wonderful” I remember exclaiming to her, most envious and wishing to be in that position. At that time I was a single parent, hadn’t been on a holiday with my beautiful children for quite some time and lived month to month hoping that that maintenance payment would be received but always in the back of my head knowing that if it didn’t, the house would have to be sold, the children taken out of private schooling and goodness knows where I would have to reside with my precious kids. As I stood there gazing at this lady and being quite envious of her conversation, it was in her next sentence that allowed me to regroup. “Oh, we are on final notice from our electricity supplier due to our failing to pay the past couple of bills, but hey, so what, we are going ahead with our plans regardless.” Say what? Yep, it was all true and I stood in bewilderment about her ‘devil may care’ attitude.
To this day, I cannot tell you if all of this lady’s plans fell into place or if indeed she has electricity in her life. Is this the reason why Australia’s credit card debt is $50 billion dollars presently? How much of it is owed by her? I don’t know and quite frankly I do not want to know. All I know is that very very very little of it is owed by me . I still have the same credit card limit I had when I applied for it at the age of eighteen and that’s the truth. My attitude is if you don’t have the cash, don’t buy it. Okay, there are exceptions such as buying a house, car and any emergencies such as medical etc but hey boys and girls what is this world coming to?
I watch as my now adolescent teenager mixes in her university circle of friends, who are children of a large demographic of families. I listen to some of them chat about the latest mobile phones they have, whose parents drive what cars, where holidays are taken and what suburb they intend living in when they are all “degreed- up” and I love to hear it all. My teenager, who has been taught much by her frugal mother, but currently listens little, spending her plentiful supply and interestingly-sourced funds and watches me intently watching her acquire another designer good purchase whilst I shake my head in disbelief and disapproval. This “Burberry-wearing, Givenchy-talking” adolescent knows that I have my proverbial tongue in my cheek as I nod at her saying “oh, fabulous.” Yes, she knows that “credit card city” is not the place where I want her living in the future but I can rest easy knowing that, as a student of law, and who is now eighteen and hence legal, she is responsible for her actions and thank goodness her bills, should she walk into 'that' city.
So I sit back and watch the next credit-card and money-crazy generation coming through, not all but many, and listen as some of my generation chat about the who’s who of Brisbane and who’s travelling to which exotic resort and how many pairs of Jimmy Choo shoes who has acquired over the last month on which credit card and I heed it all. In my eyes, the people who are so busy keeping up with the Joneses don’t realise that they are sitting with a member of that Jones family, sipping that cup of coffee and that would be me. No, I don’t have to have acquired the latest Mercedes Benz or the ten pairs of Jimmy Choo shoes to be a Jones family member, I just need to have the money in the bank to pay for that upcoming electricity bill and thank goodness I do, and it’s cash!
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